"Oh god, this is terrible..."
"Shut up, dad."
Camus and son, in the cinema
Smith is a fish who looks like Will Smith. Renée Zellweger
is a fish who looks like Renée Zellweger. Jake Black
is a fish… you get the picture. Robert De Niro's shark
even has a mole on its right cheek. What Martin Scorsese is
doing in this paper thin mess of an animated film is anyone’s
guess. Money? If Shrek
2 was too referential for its own
good, then Shark Tale goes further (something
I didn’t think possible). It features a barely registering
story about a whale cleaning fish in an underwater New York
('Coral Cola'? Give me a break) who wants to be a somebody.
By accident a Great White is killed and our little fish takes
the credit teaming up with a vegetarian shark that he pretends
to best in combat. Ho bloody hum.
God. This is L.A.-Hollywood-Tinsel-Town at its most cannibalistic.
This is like watching a man eat himself and only coming to
the conclusion that he won't finish his plate 85 minutes later.
I started to focus on the décor I was so bored. When Finding Nemo was born, Shark Tale sloughed off its back like dead skin. All the bad ideas that
Pixar might have entertained for a nanosecond are clumped
together in this awful piece of schlock. There is nothing
about this world that is worth watching. There is no reason
for it to be about fish or sharks. The milieu is an animated
afterthought. It could be Will Smith as the Fresh Prince and
it wouldn't make any difference (it wouldn’t be any
is one scene that typifies my loathing of this wholesale 'stealing
in homage'. Will stands holding Jake's jaws open - he has
'beaten' the Great White. So what dialogue comes forth, what
pearls of wisdom? Three sentences all culled, three sentences
so desperately off topic it's a wonder someone didn't have
the taste to get rid of them. This is Hollywood pretending
creativity is just something that happens to other people.
you not entertained? You can’t handle the truth. You
had me at hello." Yes, that's what he says. Oh sweet
Gladiator – "Are you not entertained?" Oh God. A
Few Good Men - "You can't handle the truth!"
What? That doesn't even make sense… and for good measure: Jerry Maguire - "You had me at hello…"
Cut to Renée (Cruise’s co-star in Maguire)
a car crash of a movie. Someone tell Katzenberg that he has
a lovely Rolodex. Could he add some writing talent to it please?